Mark 10:2-9.               Divorce and marriage??                      7/10/12

 (2)  Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" {3} "What did Moses command you?" he replied. {4} They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away." {5} "It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law," Jesus replied. {6} "But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.' {7} 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, {8} and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one. {9} Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

Today we are confronted with Jesus’ views on a very important issue for our society; divorce and marriage. In this regard we are presented with a mathematical equation which defies our imagination; 1+1+1=1. That’s right 1+1+1=1. Many of you now are probably starting to think that I have finally cracked, or that I am trying to be funny. But no, I am deadly serious. This is the mathematical equation that we are called on to take seriously when it comes to marriage.

 Because today we so often can't come to grips with this thinking, we as a society are having big problems with marriage and the all too common divorces. Because we don't understand marriage and have wrong perceptions about it, it is then that we have the problems that we do with divorce. As a result, this has become a real threat to the whole fabric of our society. So here we are called on to give serious thought again to what marriage is all about from God’s perspective, and the importance that our Lord places on it: Along with that, we have Jesus answer to the questions; is divorce OK from a Christian perspective, and what is our understanding of marriage that allows it to happen?

 Today it is very appropriate that we look at these questions at this time; particularly in light of much of the thinking that is around about us these days. Of course, there are many today who are not interested in hearing what our Lord has to say on this matter; and who consider themselves too enlightened and mature. Others again, like to twist and turn what God has to say to suite themselves; or are like the Pharisees, and find loop holes and ways around it. Others again, simply couldn't be bothered think too deeply about marriage, but just hope that it will all work out and nothing will go wrong; or they are just out to get what pleasure they can for themselves while they can, to hang with the consequences, after all we can always get out of it.

 I believe that we all need to listen again to what our Lord has to say here. Too often our attitude to marriage and divorce is based on a faulty understanding of what marriage really is. We too go along with the modern education which tells us that 1+1+1=3. When it comes to marriage more particularly, 1+1=2 individuals. 1 male + 1 female =two people living together: However that now sadly can also be homosexual. But simply two people living together in a relationship and yet still considering themselves as individuals: and then they wonder why they have so many problems in marriage, and why divorce continues to wreck thousands upon thousands of lives; and why we also continue to find ways and means of condoning this terrible action.

 Here Jesus spells out quite clearly why marriage problems and divorce has become an option for so many: "it is because your hearts are hard" he says. Because you are stubborn and self-centred people; people who want to be your own person and do your own thing. Even in marriage you want to be an individual, and have your rights and privileges; your own expectations and your own desires. You want out of marriage what you want, and when you can't get it just get up and leave. This is how sick our modern idolatry of self has become.

No longer is adultery the primary motive for divorce: if ones partner annoys, embarrasses or doesn't give us what we want, even there it seems that we go looking elsewhere today. We consider ourselves individuals, with our own rights, feelings and wants; and so we very much have the equation, 1+1=2 individuals living together while it is convenient. Even when we bring God into our marriage, then it is still 1+1+1=3: and again it = disaster: it never works out as it should or is intended: there will always be problems.

So it is time again to look at using Jesus' equation for marriage; and as we do we will find a whole new attitude to marriage; and divorce will no longer need to be an option. Let us look again and work on God's original intention for humanity and marriage: 1+1+1=1.

 This understanding reminds us that first of all, our Lord has made us to live in unity with himself. He has created us to live in a close personal relationship with him: a oneness; God and us giving of ourselves for the benefit of each other: To be at one in our thinking with each other: To care about each other and do what is best for each other, and not for ourselves.

 In this regard our Lord has continually kept his side of the relationship, even when we have gone off and played the adulteress, he still continues to love us and has done all he can to win us back: he continues to do what is good for us: he continues to be there for us. In fact he went so far as to give up his own Son so that we might be restored to unity and oneness with himself: to forgive us and make a new way for us.

 As we take up the challenge to live in that personal relationship again with him, that oneness that is given, will grow. God through his Word and Sacraments will continue to draw us closer to himself; peace, security, contentment and joy will be had all round. No longer will we want to live by and for ourselves; we will want to do what pleases him rather than ourselves: we will listen to him and follow his ways. Then the Lord and us will be united in all things, and we will know the fulfilment associated with that, which is beyond understanding.

 Then as we contemplate marriage we find that the same unity and oneness is expressed and given. God created us male and female for the very purpose of being a unit: to be joined together as one inseparable relationship. Not two individuals living together, but one flesh - working together for the common good. Loving and caring for each other as a single entity: Using our God-given talents and gifts for the benefit of the marriage: giving of ourselves for the enrichment of the whole unit.

 Here each one carries out different roles; but for the one purpose, just as the Father, Son and Holy Spirit do as one God. The Father as the creator; the Son as redeemer; and the Holy Spirit as counsellor and helper, each carrying out their roles all for the common good and as one God.

So also we see this same thinking being used between Christ and his Church. God’s Word talks about; husbands loving their wives as Christ loved the Church, giving himself to death to save her. Wives submitting to their husbands as Christ did to the will of his Father; as the Church does to its Lord.

Here then in our marriages we will also seek to spend as much time as we can with our spouse; and we will do what we can to please them rather than ourselves. Also we will listen to them and seek to do what we can for them. Here we will seek to talk in terms of ‘we’ rather than me. We will support each other in our decision making which is done for the good of the family.  We will ‘be patient and kind. We will not envy, or boast, or be proud. We will not be rude, or self-seeking, or easily angered, or keep a record of wrongs. We will not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. We will always protect, always trust, always hope, always persevere. Then in our marriages, as we live this way in this oneness that is ours through our Lord Jesus Christ, we will therein find all that we really need and want. 1+1+1=1.

 So let us forget this self fulfilment and individualism rubbish in marriage that is so readily promoted be our society around us. Instead let us see again that marriage is meant to be not two people living together, but one unit made of two parts that are inseparable: one flesh - no longer two but one. Here understanding that this is what our God created us for, and knowing that God is ensuring that what He has joined together nothing separates. Through that he will not only bring great blessing to the couple and family, but also to our society as a whole.

 So let us go from here today and be prepared to work at this equation that our Lord has given us, recognising that it is worth working at – it is important. And where there is weakness and failure and individualism, let us look to our God for healing, help and strength to make it work. Seeking from him that love which removes all barriers and unites us into a oneness that is inseparable. For it is in him alone that find and can have that unity that we so desperately need; and it is in him that we find the answers and the help we need to restore marriage to what it is intended to be. So may God be with you and enrich your marriage, and marriage in our community, as we all seek to have and promote the equation, 1+1+1=1. AMEN.

 Pastor Roger Atze

Glandore/Underdale Lutheran Parish